turn and cough

greetings sports fans, I have triumphantly returned. Let me start by saying I'm all for airport security, but what the crap! I had to take off my belt twice, my shoes once and put my dignity aside countless times. Oh the foul language that formed in my head each time I dealt with a member of an airline. On the plane you can't have headphones on in case you might miss the really important announcement they give at the beginning of each flight. Apparently it's Ok to read and completely ignore her but not to stare straight at her and have headphones on. Also there is a weight limit now to bags that I don't remember. So I had to put twenty pounds of stuff in a box, which by the way got punctured. Two bags forty each, that's ok. One bag 70 pounds, off with your head. I almost ripped the lady's head off. ( i have unresolved anger)
I have a theory. Men really do want to be honest with each other. We want to have consequences for our mistakes. We even want to cry every once in a while. But we want to do these things on neutral ground. With a beer in our hands. Who can't see healing while playing poker? Who can't envision confession after the ball game. Why do we have to formulaicly sing, greet, hug, listen, nod and go home every Sunday? Can't church be something more dangerous? Don't get me wrong I'm no daredevil, outdoorsman, or gearhead. I do think that men are yearning for church that doesn't make them want to roll their eyes. "NEWSFLASH" Jesus wasn't a pansy. He belched and farted and worked with his hands and had callouses and wrestled with his friends and had no time for fakers. He desired people who would worship him in spirit and in truth. You know why I can't sing in worship times anymore? It's because I would be lying to God. I can't and won't be false before him. I am a flawed being. I laugh at things I shouldn't laugh at. I resist disciplines which would make me more like Christ. I engage in disobedient behaviors. But I know that greater men have gone before me who have sinned greater, fallen flatter, procrastinated longer and strayed farther. From King David to Franklin Graham. I believe that God will not give up on a man who aspires to be more than he is. Pray for me and the men who share that vision that we can convince others that Christ is for them.

tedious tasks and crapping air

Synonyms for farts
bad case of pocket thunder
crapping air
baking methane muffins

Life is a funny thing. Today I'm going to be doing a lot of things, "tedious tasks" some might call them. But I love doing them. Going to be doing a 24 parody for the youth group. We need to include the line "who are you working for? !!! " at least 3 times. That's really all I know that's truly hilarious. Has anyone else noticed that food keeps getting smaller? Any premade product you buy keeps going down in size. I don't mind them charging more but could they at least have the decency to keep the product the same size. It's like they're hoping we won't notice.
Days off mean a lot more when you don't have as many as you used to. How I long for the constant breaks of college life. Blue jackets still sitting on 11 wins. Completely depressing.

breastmilk ice cream

As I sit here with my wife I'm awash in glory. I have created a blog. To anyone out there that knows me this is anti-jon. Technology, I mean. The title is rather self explanatory but I'll share the background. I was just sitting here and we were looking at the ben and jerry's website and I wondered aloud if anyone had ever made breastmilk ice cream.
I really don't want a flood of recipes here. Just for posterity I want to give a big screw you to all the greenlighters out there who never told me about this blogging thing. I've wanted a forum for all my bellyaching for years. Keep your eyes open people this is going to be the most meaningful visit of your day!
The cookie man is done.