I don't normally recommend R-rated material. But I've got to say that "Regular Everyday Normal Guy" on funnyordie.com is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Sorry, but it's true. I've learned over the course of my years that people who wouldn't laugh at South Park are worthy of admiration but they're not as fun to be around.
My daughter hit me in the nose with the DVD remote yesterday and drew blood. Laurie laughed so hard she cried. Which brings up an interesting question. Why is it so funny when awkwardly painful things happen to people? Who doesn't smirk or downright guffaw when some guy takes a ball to the groin?
I miss my hair sometimes. I like the way it looked long.
I think it's funny that when I'm out in public I always put toilet paper on the seat before going. Yet when I'm in someone's house, I do not. It doesn't even occur to me in my own house even if we've had company. Really, are public toilets that much dirtier? Peace of mind is a funny thing.
One good thing about my new job is that I'm the designated food fetcher on call nights. I've been to like five different places now.
In closing, "This is my prayer for you: that your love will grow more and more; that you will have knowledge and understanding with your love; that you will see the difference between good and bad and will choose the good; that you will be pure and without wrong for the coming of Christ; that you will do many good things with the help of Christ to bring glory and praise to God."
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
The results show
Well here is the answer to question number 1. Nope. It ran out of absorption at the 2/3 mark.
Experiment #2
How long can I go without complaining? I saw this on CBS This Morning. A pastor had challenged his congregants to go 3 weeks without complaining. If they made it they got a certificate of happiness. We shall see.
I long to do something meaningful, or that I can recognize as meaningful. I may insert myself into the worship arts here, for as long as we are here, or as long as I can stand it.
Positives: "Momma", spring, the merciful end to my basketball season.
(*no negatives, for three weeks at least)
Experiment #2
How long can I go without complaining? I saw this on CBS This Morning. A pastor had challenged his congregants to go 3 weeks without complaining. If they made it they got a certificate of happiness. We shall see.
I long to do something meaningful, or that I can recognize as meaningful. I may insert myself into the worship arts here, for as long as we are here, or as long as I can stand it.
Positives: "Momma", spring, the merciful end to my basketball season.
(*no negatives, for three weeks at least)
Monday, March 10, 2008
Grow Up!
My new blog series is going to be an unofficial set of experiments.
Experiment #1 Will a size 3 huggies diaper hold a normal sized adult pee. Results to follow.
By the way, I was watching my daughter walk and I noticed she kind of swings her legs from side to side like swiveling instead of walking. Also her arms stay raised almost even with her head. Is this so she will not fall? I'm not sure but it always makes her seem happier when she waddles around. That might be experiment #2. How would society react to seeing a grown man walk around like that? I have no shame, just so you know.
I'm so attracted to my wife right now it's amazing. They say it goes in cycles. I hope this lasts a long time. It feels right and pure to think your wife is sexy. Like you want no one but her. Shout out to VS.
Positives: VS, Free Dinner Date from in-laws, "Messy Spirituality" by Mike Yaconelli
Negatives: general unwellness, double chins, soggy pant cuffs
Experiment #1 Will a size 3 huggies diaper hold a normal sized adult pee. Results to follow.
By the way, I was watching my daughter walk and I noticed she kind of swings her legs from side to side like swiveling instead of walking. Also her arms stay raised almost even with her head. Is this so she will not fall? I'm not sure but it always makes her seem happier when she waddles around. That might be experiment #2. How would society react to seeing a grown man walk around like that? I have no shame, just so you know.
I'm so attracted to my wife right now it's amazing. They say it goes in cycles. I hope this lasts a long time. It feels right and pure to think your wife is sexy. Like you want no one but her. Shout out to VS.
Positives: VS, Free Dinner Date from in-laws, "Messy Spirituality" by Mike Yaconelli
Negatives: general unwellness, double chins, soggy pant cuffs
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Wrestling with normalcy
Have you ever been told something about something and then other things actually occur? This, in a nutshell, is my job. There have been quite a few things that have popped up as responsibilities that were not communicated to me when I was hired.
When I was in college, I had a collection that grossed out my roommate. I had a major chest cold every year and I would hoike up phlegm into a bottle and then set it at the head of my bed. I know, I'm disgusting.
I could watch movies every day. I wish I could have 30 bucks a day that I could just blow on movies at theaters. Yep, movies and fast food. Those are my vices. There are starving kids in Africa and poverty is rampant in the world, but I still want my ticket and cheeseburger. It's hard work sucking this much.
I think if I could pick my nationality I would be Swedish. They seem really happy.
Farts are funny. Apparently for guys only but still...funny. They were funny when I was ten and they're funny now. I've spoken with men who are 45 and guess what? Still funny.
I think I have talents that lend themselves to games and not professions. Memory, fact collecting, editing, refined sense of taste. My dream jobs seem to be just that, dreams. DJ, sports editor, tasting expert, humorist. Ah well, guess I'll just have to wait for that perfect job in ministry that Mom keeps praying for.
When I was in college, I had a collection that grossed out my roommate. I had a major chest cold every year and I would hoike up phlegm into a bottle and then set it at the head of my bed. I know, I'm disgusting.
I could watch movies every day. I wish I could have 30 bucks a day that I could just blow on movies at theaters. Yep, movies and fast food. Those are my vices. There are starving kids in Africa and poverty is rampant in the world, but I still want my ticket and cheeseburger. It's hard work sucking this much.
I think if I could pick my nationality I would be Swedish. They seem really happy.
Farts are funny. Apparently for guys only but still...funny. They were funny when I was ten and they're funny now. I've spoken with men who are 45 and guess what? Still funny.
I think I have talents that lend themselves to games and not professions. Memory, fact collecting, editing, refined sense of taste. My dream jobs seem to be just that, dreams. DJ, sports editor, tasting expert, humorist. Ah well, guess I'll just have to wait for that perfect job in ministry that Mom keeps praying for.
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