Wussing out

My friend AJ is having trouble finding locales to hang with unchurched people. My problem is I can't get away from them. Every job I've had, I am surrounded by people. I have never worked in a cubicle. I see humanity all day long. Customer service, working as a marker, and now as a salesperson, I am on display for all to see. Setting myself as an example of what a Christian looks like whether I want to or not.
I actually yearn for the church office life. I want to rub shoulders with my peers. To speak of the things of God daily and at length. I want to fix things, create things, and get things done. Don't get me wrong, I'm as committed as the next guy to evangelism. But I believe that my effectiveness will be increased tenfold when I'm away from the life. I want to live above the fray. I feel a little too much of the world and not in it. Maybe it's because I've had a taste of church life and it tasted so good and maybe I sound like a spoiled brat, but try working in negative situations for a while and see how much fight you've got left in you.
The average person won't understand my point of view cause it's all they've known but my spirit is exhausted from taking so many bodyblows of negativity and corruption. I see hurt manifested all day long. I just want to do some research on the disease for a while instead of treating it.

Ungrateful jerkiness

It occurs to me. Lately, I haven't really publicly let God know what a great job he's done providing for my family.

So here's to you God:
for the generosity of friends and strangers.
for a year of free diapers and wipes.
for parents and in-laws who give as second nature.
for free toys.
for temporary work that payed way too much.
for a budget that let us be flexibly frugal.
for a call from an old friend.
for a job that doesn't seem like the answer.
for a gracious wife.
for a precious daughter.
for reminding me I'm your priceless treasure when I feel utterly worthless.

Ten things you really don't need to know

Apparently, I chew quite vigorously. I'm not sure if this is true, but Laurie says I must produce extra saliva therefore making my mouth sound like a mini car wash.
I like sesame seed buns, a lot. I do not like kaiser rolls, at all.
Pizza Hut makes the best crust in the world. They fry it. If it's stuffed with cheese I'm over the moon.
Every time I tune in to Letterman, it's not funny. If I hear bits on the radio, funniest show ever.
My treat from tax return money this year is a hockey ticket. Now I just need to convince others to waste money with me. The Jackets offense is anemic.
I love seeing movies in theaters. I wish I had an endless amount of cash and free time. I would see almost everything that comes out. Next up: "10,000 BC". Plus "The Happening", M. Night Shamalyan's new flick. Two sets I own, all his movies and all the Potter films. Actually I'm missing his first one. It's called "Wide Awake". If you ever come across it, please send it to me. Really. I mean it.
I cut myself almost every day. It's really annoying.
My wife snores, but only when she's sick. I snore all the time.
I now have 19 mix cd's.
Lost is all new, all year.

Que Pasa?

This is my report on my evening taking care of the baby. First of all, Emma only eats when she wants to and its hardly ever at home. So after thrown food, two slapped hands, and me ignoring her crying, I got her out of her highchair and we were done. Then I tried to feed her a bottle. I say tried because I didn't screw the lid on her bottle tight enough and didn't notice it until she had almost finished. I estimate at least an ounce and a half wound up soaked into her shirt. So I stripped her down and let her run naked. She likes books and makes me read at least five a night to her. So we sat there reading. Milky, half naked and content. My girl and I had a wonderful bath, successfully drank another bottle and went to bed on time and without incident. We'll see how the night goes.
I made a salad tonight and was really disappointed. For some reason, there are certain things to eat that just taste better in restaurants. Or if someone else makes them. I'm a good cook, but I've given up on salads. Burgers are back on the list of things I'll make at home though. They had been off.
The carpet has taken a beating in the last few days. Peanut had the runs twice before we locked her in the kitchen. Then after that passed she threw up the next day. And finally I spilled Gatorade this evening. Sigh.
I have this sense of fear coming over me. We did our taxes and got back much more than we ever have. I keep thinking we must have done them wrong but.....
Week three on the job. I'm severely undertrained but we're severely understaffed, so I've been forced to do things I'm not ready or willing to do. Hopefully I'll get some responses from the 10 letters I'm sending to different districts. But probably not. God likes to humble me.
I hate getting screwed.(Not that I've run into anyone that likes getting screwed) We took our car in to have the brakes done and they're still squealing. I believe they actually did the work and that we have new brakes but they just didn't do it well.
I finally stopped hating people who slow down to go over train tracks. I used to slow down on purpose behind them and then ramp the tracks when I got to them. But now, I just swallow my rage. I have a lot of rage. Not sure why.
Does this ever happen to you? You say something to your spouse and in your head it makes sense but in reality it might not. Or they just seem to be acting really dense. There are some nights when communication with my wife is like verbal gymnastics. She doesn't get what I'm saying or I'll communicate in half thoughts.
Positives: $2500 dollars, free Godiva chocolate, clean dogs.
Negatives: the chaos of office life, 32 inch pants on 30 inch legs, no insulation.