You want fries with that?

Lately I've been noticing that I only seem to gain and lose weight in two places. My face and my tummy. Weird, cause growing up it was my waist and hips. I guess I should be grateful that I don't have to buy new pants anymore just shirts. Laurie wants me to cut back and not let myself get big, big. That's fair.
Last Saturday I was feeling peckish. And I remembered that we just got a Little Caesar's about a mile from us. So I went there about 10pm and discovered I was not the only one who was hungry. Five bucks got you a hot fresh Large pepperoni. Awesome. I had five slices. And three the next day.
Why is it that onion rings are the white gold of the fast food industry? I swear there isn't one menu where they cost the same as fries. Aren't onions even cheaper than potatoes? Why do you have to upgrade? Why isn't it an even trade? C'mon people, stand up and say NO MORE!
Now it's time to heap praise on someone I know.
Jon Stephens is the best storyteller I've ever met. He can make the mundane uproarious. I salute you man. For your upbeat spirit and your can do attitude. Though you do suck a little for never calling.