Sunday, April 27, 2008

Information Superhighway

I used to think I was allergic to the sun. Every time I would look up I sneezed so I just figured....I still can't explain that phenomenon. It happens to the kid too.
Driving doesn't really relax me. I get uptight because I try to get into the other drivers' heads. Like, why would they be braking every thirty seconds? Why are they going the school zone speed limit when school is not in session? Why are they not going on the green light?
Have you ever really poured Johnson's Baby Shampoo into your eyes? Tearless my ass. It stings.
Why is it that lunch meats aren't good on the second day but spaghetti is?
I paid 20 bucks for 8 razor blades yesterday. Man did I go into the wrong business.
I haven't taken a bath in like ten years. I should.
This week Laurie is going to a conference in Atlanta and I have Emma all to myself for like four days. Scary. She doesn't sleep as well for me but she eats better so I guess we'll have a chubby, bleary-eyed little girl when she returns home. I tend to splurge when Laurie isn't around. Sometimes it's a movie, or eating out...who am I kidding, it's always eating out.
I wish I could find the perfect T-shirt. I find them here and there but I usually can't go back and buy like twenty of them. I'd like to pitch about half my stock right now. Too short or too tight. Or I could lose ten pounds.
Now it's time to heap praise on someone I know.
Kelly Thomas: write a book already! Your prose is touching, human and heartfelt. That spells blockbuster where I'm from. Just as long as I'm in the "Special thanks to" notes.
Positives: a great church, a dog bed full of balls and two laughing babies, tender pork loin
Negatives: wandering in all forms, God's timing, dry clean only pants

3 comments:

Kelly said...

Thanks! :) And, Geesh. No pressure. I love writing, and would love to write a book some day. Keep bugging me about it- that way in my "special thanks to" section...I can say "And special thanks to Jon Hurd. Who bugged the crap out of me until I wrote this book." There. One page finished. Only a few hundred more and I'm set.

Also- I like how "God's timing" is a negative. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way sometimes.

proud mama said...

You're going to do great with Emma these next couple of days! Sorry to leave you without a computer, though. I know you'll miss having easy access, especially since we now know what the wireless issue was. I though about taking the iPod, too, but figured that would leave you wandering aimlessly. Don't eat TOO much fast food....

oljonnyhurd said...

Is there really such a thing as too much fast food?