Have you ever been told something about something and then other things actually occur? This, in a nutshell, is my job. There have been quite a few things that have popped up as responsibilities that were not communicated to me when I was hired.
When I was in college, I had a collection that grossed out my roommate. I had a major chest cold every year and I would hoike up phlegm into a bottle and then set it at the head of my bed. I know, I'm disgusting.
I could watch movies every day. I wish I could have 30 bucks a day that I could just blow on movies at theaters. Yep, movies and fast food. Those are my vices. There are starving kids in Africa and poverty is rampant in the world, but I still want my ticket and cheeseburger. It's hard work sucking this much.
I think if I could pick my nationality I would be Swedish. They seem really happy.
Farts are funny. Apparently for guys only but still...funny. They were funny when I was ten and they're funny now. I've spoken with men who are 45 and guess what? Still funny.
I think I have talents that lend themselves to games and not professions. Memory, fact collecting, editing, refined sense of taste. My dream jobs seem to be just that, dreams. DJ, sports editor, tasting expert, humorist. Ah well, guess I'll just have to wait for that perfect job in ministry that Mom keeps praying for.
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2 comments:
that story about "hoike-ing" up phlegm and keeping it as a collector's item was absolutely disgusting. but then again, my husband likes to dig burnt cookies out of the bottom of the trash can and eat them. which is worse?
Who hasn't eaten food from somewhere disgusting, and not for money either?
Phlegm, absolutely.
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