Sorry, there's just something in my eye....

This will be my eighth consecutive Christmas without seeing members of the Hurd family on or around the actual day. Christmas at my house was always magical. Oh sure we always had to get up early to the sound of Mom swearing at us about doing our part to get things ready. And yes sometimes there were unavoidable catastrophes like Dad breaking the built in counter top cutting board with a rutabaga.(Which in Canada is called a turnip)And inevitably I would always eat too much and get a stomachache and spend the evening lying on the couch wishing for a quick death.
But the holidays are awash with memory for me, real or imagined I don't know. I remember waking at 3am one Christmas and amusing myself with the contents of my overstuffed stocking.(Which had been placed there only a couple hours earlier) I remember unwrapping my biggest gift under the tree on Christmas Eve and being disappointed that it was a winter coat. I remember my first taste of eggnog as Dad and I sat there in our pajamas. I remember filling four trash bags with paper after unwrapping an embarrassing number of gifts. I remember Christmas Eves with a different number of guests each year, depending on who was in town. I remember watering the tree and picking needles off the back of my shirt for hours. I remember the year we got a VCR and a new TV and watching every new station like we had never seen anything so beautiful. My favorite churchy part of Christmas was the Candlelight Carol Sing on the last Sunday before Christmas. We never went to Christmas Eve services so this was the goosebumpy focus on Jesus time for me. It was always so peaceful, loving and moving. I love Christmas Music too. It just seems like better music was written around this holiday than any other. My all-time favorites? O holy night and the little drummer boy. Take a moment this season and think about what you want your kid to be writing about in the years to come. I know I wouldn't trade my Christmas memories for anything. Well, maybe season tickets to the Blue Jackets.

Something for everyone

Here's an interesting tidbit. They must have grown people smaller back in the seventies because I can't fit into the little space they have for the urinals in the old part of our church. I'm serious, there must be like two feet max in between the metal partitions separating the two urinals. I feel like I'm an NFL lineman every time I go to take a pee. I don't know if anyone else has experienced explosive diarrhea in their lifetime but when you do sometimes you can, through no fault of your own, cause errant turd to get on areas of your toilet you would never expect to find poo. This is disturbing because you can go a few days without discovering it. Then you're embarrassed for some reason like you could have possibly prevented it.

Topic #5 Why is sin so enjoyable?

I only ask on my own behalf. I may get ten responses telling me that sin is not enjoyable at all. But in my experience, part of the reason I do not readily give up sin is that it affords me pleasure of some kind. Physical, emotional or mental. I get a high from doing the wrong thing. I wish I hated my sin more. Ive heard and read that once you genuinely hate sin and what it does to you and keeps you from becoming, that is when your relationship with God moves to a whole new level of commitment and enthusiasm.
How can I muster that hatred? It makes sense in my head that when I lie it is affecting those around me and yet.... It occurs to me that when I view inappropriate content that it is likely someone's future wife or at least someone's daughter that is being objectified in a terrible way. I have a little girl now! And yet that only gives me a moment's pause when I make the choice to sin or not. When I choose some random crap I don't even like on TV over spending quality time with my savior, I take selfishness to a whole new level. And yet it is still more pleasing to me than doing the right thing. So again I ask, why - in my brain - does it feel so good to be so bad? Ultimately, it doesn't matter. Either I'll recognize sin for what it is or spend the rest of my life facing the consequences. Pleasurable or not, sin will take me one place and it stands opposed to everything my God holds dear. I can say "Yeah but it's hard to not _____" for so many things. The walk is hard brother. Christian morality ain't for sissies.

Verily I say unto you

Well it's been two weeks since my last blog and you deserve to know what's been going on in my life.
I have two days left in the second part time job I've had. Then I will be, once again, unemployed. Laurie is at this moment scanning an employment newspaper for leads.
As of tomorrow, Emma will have been sick with some kind of bug for 7 days. I didn't know you could be flu-sick for seven days. Laurie was sick for four days. Me and my mother in law, one day each. Nasty.
I'm watching an undervalued little show called "Pushing Daisies". It's quite something. Quirky, funny and a narrator who rhymes.
I'm in a Christmas play. I play a shy postman who goes off to war before realizing the joy of a loving relationship.
I'm going to be doing some holiday baking this year. As gifts, for a shower and for some random person who got my number from the post office bulletin board. Hooray for unorthodox advertising.
Fantasy football's regular season wraps up this week. We will make the playoffs but what state our team will be in... who can say?
New topic to come soon! Stay tuned! Use more exclamation marks!

Are Kiwis for real?

Had a pretty interesting discussion at work today. At lunchtime we got to talking about random facts. Did you know that the banana tree will not independently reproduce? Did you know that sparks fly when you crunch hard mints such as Wint-O-Greens or Certs?
A girl I was sitting with told me that kiwis are not a naturally occurring fruit. They were bred from two other fruits. She didn't say which. Why is it that people who taste things like to find undertones of flavor in them? I was watching Ellen last month and there was this guy raving about the subtle flavors you can taste in wines. Like chocolate, fruit, leather, tobacco and even dirt. Same for coffee. Apparently these drinks don't stand on their own. Do we really expect this from other foods? Cheese that tastes like shoe polish? Ice cream with a hint of wood? Water that reminds me of flowers? No thanks. I'll take my food tasting like it says on the package please.
Positives: Turning 30, not coughing for two days, Baby hugs.
Negatives: Pushing 235, when parts of my anatomy fall asleep, bugs in the house.

Fun Ahoy!

Well this is my favorite time of year. No kidding. I've always loved fall and autumness and all things from October through January 1st. It starts on the 3rd with my parents' anniversary.(thirty seven years)My mom's birthday on the eighth.(fifty six)Canadian Thanksgiving.(which I no longer remember)Halloween.(which was void of candy this year as our church did a reverse trick or treat)Next comes the Cypress Craft Bazaar.(94 dozen cookies sold this year at a cool $780)My birthday(the seventeenth)American Thanksgiving.(Dinner with the Suttons and football, football, football)Emma's 1st birthday.(Laurie is inviting all the other kids born within a couple months of each other in our circle of friends for a party with a tarp, some cake and a bunch of naked babies)And finally Christmas and New Year's round out the festivities.(we no longer give gifts, just charitable contributions)

Topic #4 Would Jesus have a beer with the guys?

I can only guess what is going through the heads of first time readers. No I'm not a drinker and no I'm not against alcohol for Christians. This is really just a forum for discussion. I have been quoted verse after verse, rule after rule and reason after reason as to the questionability of Christians imbibing alcohol and I've got to tell you, I can't find it anywhere. It's like gambling. We(the church) find these behaviors we don't agree with and we stretch to find biblical support to back it up. I'm not for freedom in all things and I'm not a grace monger. We have a responsibility to behave in a self controlled way, but that applies to so much more than what we put in our bodies. If people cared as much about raising their kids right as who does what in their homes, we'd not have the crisis of morality we're facing right now. My guess is that Jesus would go first, were he to come back, to the places we'd least expect him to. Including the local bar.

But Mom, I don't like the taste of Ivory!

Topic #3
Does swearing make you less of a Christian?

I meet with a group of guys. We talk as men do and one of the discussions that has rolled over in my head is the issue of language and coarse joking. I'm not talking about taking the Lord's name in vain but other words not widely accepted in christian circles. There seems to be a belief among my generation, that swearing among christian friends is not as bad as swearing in public or in front of people who would react negatively to those words. I know the verses about there should not be any coarse joking among you but only what is acceptable for building others up. I also know that the world in general has a belief that for the most part Christians don't swear. This leads me to ask certain questions I don't know the answers to. Are certain words offensive to God's ears? Does it show immaturity when we laugh at or use what is considered to be foul language? I know where a lot of people stand on this. They are hardliners. There is to be no unwholesome talk coming from your mouths. The question was raised to me, "Just what is considered unwholesome"? Are there different levels? Are there hard and fast rules? And who says so? Where I come from the word frig was not considered dirty. But I moved to Ohio and was told that it was frowned upon. Now I can't list some of the words that I'm sure are under consideration as coarse for fear of offending certain readers but therein lies the quandary. I would not want to offend a general crowd but when a group of my peers is in agreement about what is and is not acceptable for themselves, what is to stop us from speaking freely and communicating in a way that feels natural?
Listen I'm certainly not an advocate for the F-word or any other questionable language but is it only questionable because we've made it so in society? You can freely drink alcohol in Europe and profess your faith. But here, in certain parts of the country and in certain denominations you cannot. There are strong men and women of God I know who appreciate and use colorful language. Does that make their faith weaker than someone who does not?

I fought the law and we both lost

Topic #2
Why isn't there more justice on earth?

I just got done with a temporary job at which I marked student proficiency exams. During the course of time I came to realize there were certain people who did not deserve to be there. They fell asleep at their desks, they got up and wasted time, they called over supervisors to answer their questions for them. Nothing was done by the bosses. Nothing. I complained about this to my wife at home and she told me it's the same everywhere and to just get used to it and over it. Knowing this as I do, from being more than 10 years old, I wondered what kind of glory it could bring to God to see so much injustice in the world.
My story is a very mild form of annoyance granted. But what about wrongful convictions. Unpaid child support. Mandatory minimums and ridiculous sentencing guidelines. Abuse, murder, corruption. It dizzies the mind. The bible says the Lord will have his justice. In fact it is his alone to mete out. But what is he waiting for? Is his justice so radically different from what I think it is? Would I recognize it if I saw it? Tough questions but it would seem I have to rely on the other things I understand about God to help me deal with this riddle in his nature. I must trust his heart when I cannot see his hand.

Jesus farted and other uncomfortable spiritual truths

I think I want to start a series. I want to examine some of the commonly held beliefs we have that are incorrect. I want to shed light on the darker side of Christianity. In short, I want to blow up your perceptions and conception of God. If we discover things about ourselves along the way, all the better.
Today's topic: How do we serve God at less than our best?

I have had a cold for 2 weeks. My wife is on her second cold in 3 weeks. Our precious daughter has yet to shake the cold she caught at daycare three weeks ago. We are sleep deprived, irritable, symptomatic and generally not in good spirits. I pulled a muscle coughing and I can't comfortably breath right now. That being said, life is not slowing down. It would seem that God wants to see how we handle life when we are fighting our earthly bodies and attitudes. I do not consider myself Job but haven't we all had Job moments? Consider Abraham or Joseph. And isn't it fair to say God still tests the resolve and faith of his followers? It would seem there is a certain amount of "sucking it up" that needs to take place in life. I like to think that it all means something. It would feel better. But what if suffering just happens, and we need to fight through it? What if you never got to see the purpose for your suffering in this lifetime? What if our salvation is the only blessing we have to hold on to? Is it enough?

Too little sleep makes the mind wander

Have you ever just full-on stepped in a pile of dog crap? It's not a great feeling. Speaking of random crap, I have a job. Part time and only for nine days but hey, it's a paycheck. With the promise of more work in November we should be good until Thanksgiving.
Speaking of Thanksgiving, I'm losing my Canadianicity. I have officially forgotten when that holiday is. If not for a call from my Mom I'd have never known.
Speaking of forgetting things, have you ever forgotten to flush. You go to use the toilet and realize the last time you used it something must have slipped your mind. Like flushing.
Speaking of the mind, I feel like I'm losing mine. I make these mental lists of things to do and never do them. Calls, things to remember when I go someplace, brushing my teeth. I'm just plain forgetting.
Speaking of plain, I never eat anything plain anymore. Chips, toast, potatoes, eggs. I need condiments in my life. Everything seems better with mayo.
Speaking of toast, that's kind of like my chances of finding a job in ministry. 0 for 18 on resumes sent so far. Insert empty platitude here.

Fffffantasy Island

Listen, if anyone asks you to be in a fantasy football league, say no. It's not worth it. We won our match up but only because the events that did us in on one hand helped us out on the other. I'll not explain here cause my wife says it's confusing.
I start my temporary job on Friday. Nothing to write home about but hey, it's a paycheck.
I like hosting people in my home. It's not big. It's not beautiful. But it's ours and we love to share it. I like cooking for them and having them sleep in our furnished guest room. That's weird I know but..
Bathing the dogs this morning. Actually we shower them. It's enclosed so no jumping out. They're good about it. Butter runs in before I ask her to. They love getting out and being done. They roll around on the floor trying to smell like dog again. The only problem is the hair. It's everywhere. Mostly on my pillow or any dark shirt I own.
Goals for the year:
Get a job.
Get a job in ministry.
Go to a Blue Jackets Game.
Lose 10 pounds.
Teach Emma to say Mama.
Get some new T-shirts.
Have "Man Night" up and running.
Make one new friend.

Baxter's Freakin Vanilla

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
~Marianne Williamson~
Thought this was fairly cool. Also Geoff Hooper's new facebook picture is hilarious. Perfect for mocking. It would only have been better if it was Baxter's freakin' Vanilla. With a grenadine syrup.

More than I deserve

I have a wife who loves me.
I have a roof over my head.
I have an all too full belly.
I have a mostly pain free body.
I have a beautiful daughter.
I have a king size bed.
I have two TVs.
I shower with hot water.
I have a savings account.
I have no balance on my credit card.
I have three toilets.
I have AC in my house and my car.
Both my parents are alive.
I have never had to fight for anyone's country.
I have all my hair.
I have multiple sets of clean clothes.
I graduated from college.
I am destined for heaven.
I have great friends.
Faith is remembering I am God's precious treasure, even when I feel utterly worthless.

Washed whiter than....

Don't be alarmed if you notice half my blog gone. I had to sanitize it for reasons I'll never agree with. Just rest assured, my cynical brand of humor will live on. Just in a slightly less off color manner. That is all.
p.s. Sorry to AJ for having a bad night on his comment page. Won't happen again. Cause I'm taking my meds.

Really? ........Really?

Well the total is up to $64 dollars. I got an extravagant tip on a cookie order and as far as I'm concerned, that counts. Keep sendin' those checks!
Today was as typically Jon as it could get. First, I took the wrong route to my job interview this morning. Secondly, because I forgot an important paper in Laurie's office, I needed three attempts to find the building I needed to get to. Third, I had to sit in the guy's office whilst he called Bethany to make sure my Bachelor's degree was on the up and up.(It was.)
I then proceeded onward to get a toy for our child from a secondhand store Laurie had spoken to. Well lo and behold, the exit ramp was closed. After I had gotten turned around I went into the store only to find they had sold it.
Have you ever had anyone give you the finger on the road? It seems way more mean spirited when you're driving. My Mom gave me the finger once. I'm sure I'd just been smart with her.
I can fit half the length of Em's arm in my mouth. I know this because she seems to like testing my oral capacity with her hands.
Can I just say I'm so happy I only have hair growing on semi-normal parts of my body. Back hair being the weirdest and not very thick. No nose hair, ear hair or out of control kind of stuff. I saw a guy yesterday with eyebrows that had to be an inch long. Like he grows them out on purpose. Freaks me out man. Later wieners.

Progression and regression

Ten more dollars to add to the tally. That brings the grand total of operation "Feed Jon's Family" to $40. See, I told you I'd keep you updated.
On a sourer note, my dog peed on the floor this morning. Now she either did it for spite, cause she really couldn't hold it or because she has another infection of some kind. This coupled with the baby's unwillingness to embrace slumber and my unemployment have made for some hard times in maintaining the "Joy of the Lord".
I've completed my sixteenth mix CD and it ranges from Rhianna to Hinder to Norah Jones. I just love music. I love breaking down the different layers. I love singing harmonies. I love air guitaring or synthing along. I love sharing it with others.
OK gotta search more jobs. (Sigh)

Christmas wishes

What do I want for Christmas this year? Mom wants to know and I don't know what to tell her. Oh I think of things, I just can't remember to write them down anywhere. We don't give gifts anymore. Everyone has too much stuff. So we make a donation to something worthwhile and God-honoring in their names. Feels christmassy.
Well, fantasy football has begun and let the suck fest begin. One running back down and one bad choice on wide outs. Other than that our team is pretty much performing up to expectations. This is going to be my last year I've already decided. Even if we win the whole thing. I try not to participate too long in things I suck at. Except Christianity.
Man church. I'll let it resonate with you. Let it permeate your souls. Percolate in your minds. This has become my unofficial mission. To make church make sense for men. To offer something that will inspire and excite men about Christ and his mission. Feel free to tell me what would get you involved. Sorry, no naked chicks.(Neil!)
I just fell up the stairs. With a pop in my hands. An open pop. 'Nuff said.

Rescue 911!

Man I loved that show! And that was before Shatner started doing all the weird roles. Well I officially quit job #2 in 2 months. I'm starting to frustrate my wife. Kidding. She wants what's best for me and is more patient than I deserve. She also hugs and kisses our child in her sleep. Weird. The job hunt is on and I'm not going to stop till I get what I want. (hopefully)
I'm starting to think the hair is going to have to get cut. The reality is people judge you on your appearance and I need all the help I can get. This year marks the 10th anniversary of being on academic probation at Bethany. My first semester third year. Ahh memories. Lighters, living with Papa in the basement, and the only tournament Bethany men's softball has ever won!

Don't stop reading

I need your help. I want to quit my job but I need to have money to pay the bills while I look. I haven't had any luck at all in looking for part time work and I really want to do full time ministry. This search may take a while and in the meantime I am asking you, my readership, and friends for whatever support you can muster. I need roughly $500. That is a donation of just 5 dollars from 100 people.
I realize this might leave a bad taste in some mouths. To these people I can only say I feel this is what I think I should do. I want to look wholeheartedly for a position. I'm not lazy. If I get a part time job I will inform you through this and my facebook account. I promise if I get more than I need I will donate it to an African Relief cause. Here's the address:
Jon Hurd
6107 Federalist Dr.
Galloway, OH 43119
USA

Thanks in advance and I'll keep you posted.

Feeling upbraided and rightfully so

Me
In my last blog I sat complaining about what's wrong with church. I'm not backing down from that sentiment and I still want to hear from you about that but I was sitting in church Saturday night and was reminded that there are more important things than my personal feelings about how things are run. I want to share with you the outline of Dave's sermon without permission.
Dave
Why I believe In and Belong to the Church
1. Only the church helps me deal in both worlds- Time and Reality
The church helps me understand the word of God
The church helps me hear and listen to the Spirit of God
The church helps me be like the Son of God

2. The church is a moral compass in a world of moral chaos.
We are called to be salt in a bland world and light in a dark world. The church needs to step up and make a difference now like it did before. Slavery, women's rights, child labor, poverty, hospitals, schools, orphanages, mental institutions, prisons, YMCA, hospitals.

3. The church is a community of grace and healing in a world of hurt
Do you want people like that in your church?

4. The church reveals the dignity of every human being (1 Peter 2:9)

5. Christ believes in the church and I believe in Christ. (Matthew 16:18)

Me
Church, in my opinion, is in need of an overhaul. Church can be boring, it can misfire and it can be lame. But church my friends, is not the church. The church is who we are to be and we should reflect and represent our head, our leader, our brother in arms, Christ Jesus our Lord.

50 is the new 30!

This happens to be my fiftieth post. Of this I am proud considering a year ago I thought this blog extinct. Speaking of things that are extinct..... what is up with Shannon and the woman?
I hate conventional church. I hate the way it is packaged, presented and performed. Whatever happened to creativity? Or spontaneity? I feel like I need to burn the place to the ground and start over.
You can help me. (Not burn down the church, I wasn't really going to do that) Let me know what church would look like for you.
Less formal, more music, no music, less talk, no offering asked for, more teaching?
Humor, drama, instrumental, food, intimate, more dangerous, confession, communion, practical?
Challenging, beautiful, somber, interactive, media-oriented, choir, short, long, old, new, fun, active?
I could go on but I want to be surprised. Seriously, hit me.

Family is overated!

Well we've got family here and it's great....except Emma now is rejecting her former bedtime. It's not their fault, she just seems to get thrown off her rhythm every time there are house guests. Dinner was perfectly grilled hamburgers, homemade oven fries and fresh corn on the cob.
Having two babies in the house is interesting. Mine is not crawling yet so I'm seeing what I have to look forward to. Getting into the dog's dishes, crawling up the first stairs, grabbing random items out of bags.
Chocolate Lucky Charms makes its own chocolate milk!
Baby is in the throws of turmoil, must go settle her down. Sigh.

Pictures of the peach

What's that stain....?

I need new underwear. Not because I'm gross and soil myself. My underwear are as clean as anybodies. Because they're getting holey. I look at people who wear clothes that always look new and wonder how they do it. Either they are the world's best launderers, they never do anything dirty, or they are constantly replacing their worn looking clothes. I am currently in need of 5 new pairs of boxers, ten new T-shirts and a couple pairs of jeans. Don't get me started on socks...
Did you ever sneeze and something comes flying out the back of your throat? It happens to me more than I'm comfortable with. Emma found my nipple this morning. Not with her teeth thank God. Guess it's time to start getting dressed quicker.
Positives: brother's family visiting, hope for a ministry position, Tiger's assured victory
Negatives: part time jobs, budget crunching, dry feet

Which way to go?

Well I have a job. Not the job I wanted, but I may learn to love, or hate it. I'm almost through my supply of Canadian candy bars and that saddens me. The next task is the search for a part time job. Even though I start the new job on the 17th of August I don't get paid until September 14th. So I'm going to work part time at some entry level job hopefully for just under a month. Subway, a gas station, I don't care.
I sent an open letter to my pastor asking for a job. Though I wouldn't recommend doing that to anyone I felt very strongly that I should whether hired or not. Sometimes I get feelings to act on things even though success is a remote possibility. Hmmm.
I love watching the dogs sleep. They seem so peaceful. It's almost as good as watching the baby sleep. They both can sleep anywhere though, the dogs and the baby.
I have many books to read and not enough time to read them. Two on prayer, one on men, one with stories and one on messy spirituality. Not sure what to tackle first.
I'm trying these Breathe right strips. Laurie says they worked the first night. Now if only I can remember to use them.
To all of you who have been removed as friends from facebook, sorry, but you should know that I only keep friends who interact with me. And if you didn't know, now you now.

And knowing
is half the battle. G.I. JOE!

The nothing is coming!

There's nothing like getting over the hump of nothing. After a week of nothing, it's nice to finally have the weekend here to unwind and do nothing. Next week I'll probably wet myself in anticipation of having no paycheck for a third straight week but hey, is life worth living with dry trousers?
Emma is learning how to sleep but seems really frustrated by her inability to crawl. We're thinking of seeing a specialist. By the way don't tell me how Harry Potter ends. I'm one of the retards who's holding out for the movies to answer all my questions.
I hate being away from everyone I knew. When you're not really close to anyone, you miss that annoying daily interaction you had with everyone you took for granted. (Yes, even you Mom) Beulah was great except for having 45 seconds to say hi to everyone and then having someone else you hadn't seen in five years want to greet you. It made for some pretty abrupt and shallow reunions. I have one Canadian regret. No one brought a directory to the lighter.

Ho Hum

Well, I'm definitely under qualified to work at anything I want to work at. But I also do not want to go back to school. What I am qualified for I can't find a job in. I think they call that a conundrum. Cheryl's Cookies does not have a future for me.
I love eating in unexpected ways. Tonight we ate with a friend and pieced together a really great meal. Fresh veggies, entree from a restaurant using a gift certificate and dessert a combination of restaurant cheesecake, fresh fruit and store bought whipped cream. And blood orange pop for a treat. The whole meal was amazing.
Gotta go. Laurie needs her touches. Philippians 1:9-11

The Enemy

Well the paper yielded three prospects. Catering, printing and working for Cheryl's Cookies. She started a company some twenty years ago and sold to 1800 flowers.com for millions. I have no such aspirations. Just to own a small little place.
I am in serious need of help in the computing area. I just can't navigate the web or job sites or certain programs with any confidence. It's tough admitting you're a moron. I'm good at other things though. Trivia, back rubs, watching TV.
Really want to see Superbad. Any thoughts?

Check, please.

Did you ever notice when you really want something to happen, it takes forever? Whether it's a job offer, a first step, or a gut-clearing belch. This is day one of the job search. I'm still in my wake up clothes so nothing concrete is happening yet. I have set up my interview for the opportunity at step by step academy for next Tuesday. That's teaching kids with autism. Today I will grab an application for Target, go online for a Giant Eagle opportunity and grab a newspaper to look for jobs of interest. Also get the break fluid topped off and maybe dick around a bit.
The last dime a dog night of July is tonight at our local ballpark so I might go there. Nothing better than cheap hot dogs and bringing in a cheap soda you bought at a gas station.
Emma is almost 8 months old and becoming sweeter everyday. Hi to everyone we saw in Canada and hope to reconnect down here if possible.
Positives: Canadian Oreos, the new Harry Potter flick, lunch meetings with executive pastors.
Negatives: Days between reading your book, repeats, hemmorhoids.

Deadbeat Dad

So this is officially Day 1 of unemployment. Two days till vacation and no worries, but in the meantime I sorta hafta look for work. After vacation there will be daily blog updates as to my progress or lack thereof. I would do it on facebook but the blog is nearer and dearer to my heart. Boos to the Next Food Network Star for wanting their next star to be a minority or a woman and not the most qualified person. The girls sucked on camera. Plus the stuff they're spewing about how none of them ever screw up? Bull.
Positives: emma's eight hour sleeps, footlongs and playoffs
Negatives: Missing the dogs, no paychecks, post-nasal drip

Fooseball is de devil!

I'm writing this post mostly for therapy. It has been a trying month for my family. Not in the traditionally trying sense but still. The temptation for me is to really dwell on these things and ball it up in my psyche. I usually release frustration by taking a bat to my garage.
But I've received a gift in the last few days. It's a new way to look at things. Not as God not making things go the way I want, but searching for the parts of my life to be thankful for. For everything that doesn't go my way or inconveniences me or makes me question where all this is leading, there can be a resolve to endure, to persevere. Life is life.
Now that is not to discount spiritual warfare or the fact that as Christians we are under constant attack. But I now embrace the opportunity to deal with my personal "demons". To grab them up by the neck, understand them for what they are, smile at them and release them to someone bigger.
Positives: Free Ben and Jerry's, "Mercy Came Running", finding a house sitter
Points of Concern: Emma's passport, barfing dogs, Laurie's fever

Two minutes for Holding

In two weeks I will be in Canada. With family, friends and people I pretend to care about. I cannot explain how much I value being home. Canada, New Brunswick, Moncton and my old house. I love my life but if I could live through college again, I would.
What era of your life do you cherish most?
What do you want your life to look like in five years?
Where would your ideal vacation spot be and with whom would you spend it?

Wanton ramblings

I've never quite understood camps. You get out of comfortable surroundings on purpose, expose yourself to insects and generally hang with a bunch of people you only see at camp. My family, for all my formative years, never went to beulah. But now that I'm away and gone, they buy a cottage. As does my sister. And all my college friends go there.
Last night I broke a glass from our new set. It was one of the nice heavy bottomed kinds. I almost cried. The reason I didn't is because I'm so used to things like that happening to me. Or in my life. Ask my wife and she'll tell you, if there is a jagged edge, I will find it. If there is a curb I will trip over it. If there is something improperly balanced, I will drop it. If it hangs low or out or over, I will hit my head on it. If there is a company having a poor service day, I will be there at that time. If there are traffic lights they will all turn red. If there is a slow driver, I will be behind them. If there is any way to be unlucky, unfortunate, clumsy, hurt, bothered ignored or exasperated, it will occur in my life. Lots of people say it is all in the way you look at it. My friend Mike and I think I have a mutant unluck factor. Regardless, it has made me a cynic and quite angry. At the world, at God and sometimes at people who don't have these things happen. Don't get me wrong, I realize how good I've got it. But I really feel that I need to talk to someone. A child of God shouldn't feel this fatalistic all the time. I'm not depressed, just resigned to a life of unmet expectations and that can't be good.

Lifestyles of the middle class and anonymous

I love Itunes. I just finished a cd for laurie and we found songs she hasn't heard in years. So finding a job is tougher than anything i have ever done. I'd rather learn a new language. I'd rather get punched in the stomach. Hard. After having just eaten.
The guys in my small group are in management and in talking to them I've discovered the reason the american workforce is so miserable. Greed. A few men want it all and anyone under them will suffer to get it for them. My company espouses customer driven promises, pledges and goals. And yet everything they do says the exact opposite.
Whenever we go away one or both of the dogs gets sick or resentfully craps on the carpet after a certain amount of time. We leave july 11th for moncton and I can already see the stains. I've become more flatulent in my old age. It's disconcerting.
I think I want to start a new ministry at the church. It would involve going down to the local homeless shelter and playing games and starting relationships with them. Hey, it's a start.
Positives: pork tacos from Chipotle, Risk night with the guys, my new camouflage shorts
Negatives: the silent voice of God, back pain, wearing white to work.

Bill, strange things are afoot at the Circle K

I have an annoying habit of buying things, then selling them for whatever reason and then buying them again. Case in point: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. My small group is meeting tomorrow night and I'm hopeful attendance will be full. We have not been as consistent a group as I'd hoped. Have you ever just had an impulse to do something you'd regret but did it anyway? Today I bought a dozen Krispy Kremes and am 5/12 ths through them. Between them and my other meals of the day I think I put on five pounds. Ah well, live with gusto right? I might be in the minority on this but it really chaps my (ahem) when people get all hot and bothered when someone doesn't remove their hat during prayer. Do you honestly think God cares? The guy next to you with his hat off might be sleeping around but at least he showed the proper respect.
Negatives: Dry heels, sore shoulder, three fillings on the horizon, 0 for 6 so far this year.
Positives: the aforementioned 12 donuts, bathed dogs, two consecutive bible nights and no errors in the field.
Gotta pee. Later peeping tomers.

solid hydration

I was drinking from my Powerade the other day and I noticed that it says on the bottle that Powerade is "liquid hydration". Really. Liquid hydration. I'm glad I was drinking my hydration. I'd hate to have that new solid hydration cause it's apparently only taken rectally. In reality there is a product called gooze that is like a slimy gel you eat that hydrates you. Friggin' weird.
Fruit20 is the same way. They have waters that are focused on energy, immunity defense and one for hydration. Like all waters don't hydrate. Sometimes......

I have my mother's thighs, I have to accept that

Were I a potstirrer I would ask some inflammatory question and probably be flooded with comments. Being the sweet fella that I am I just want to ask in this order:
1. What was the greatest meal you've ever had?
2. Where is your Bible right now?
3. What song makes your skin tingle with the feeling that music is the heartbeat of God?

Show us your skirt Jimmy

I was thinking today. I get really mad at a lot of stuff and stew on it. Too often God gets the brunt of my anger. I was mad at my co-worker who gets into at least two stupid fights a day with his girlfriend. Secondly, I was mad at my lot in life. You see, I load boxes from here to there all day and I'm trying to find a job in ministry. Well, on days like today, when we get too much to do and don't have the tools to adequately complete our task, I get angry. At life, co-workers, and God. This stems, I believe from a flawed view of what I am owed in life. Sometimes I think that because I live Christianly I should get the perfect job and a great night's sleep and a wife who cooks and enough money to invest and live securely. Just between you and me, I'm the least financially successfully member of my small group.
But my conditions have nothing to do with my faith. Sometimes the most faithful of all have nothing. Whereas on the other hand, those with the perfect life have a hollow existence. I guess this is just me being brutally honest with myself and you the viewer. From time to time I believe the lies. Truthfully it scares me to think I could be a faith experiment like Hosea or Abraham. Am I just supposed to be faithful with what I've got or should I aspire to greater things? Sorry, I forgot this blog was supposed to be about random crap. I almost heard a cheesy soundtrack swelling in the background.
If they made nursing commercials as cool as armed forces recuitment commercials, they probably wouldn't have to beg for nurses or teachers or whatever. I'm growing my hair out again. Yeah, there too, but I'm actually talking about on my head. later fashionistas

Confession is good for the soul

I'm a liar. I don't know why. I seem to fib about minor things. Maybe to seem smarter than I am. Maybe to get out of things I don't want to do. I've always been good at it. But it in no way honors God. Even lies that are small are beneath his standard. I realize I'll never be perfect and never get life completely right but if I can't even do the easy ones I might as well throw in the towel.
I realize from time to time what I don't get right. It makes verses like "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" mean a lot more. Because I'm still a sinner. But I'm also a saint. My mother thinks I have low self esteem. It's not true. I'm just the only one besides God who really knows my every thought and motive and action. See I have a healthy dose of self worth but it's tempered by a huge scoop of self loathing. That's the battle. The one in your own mind. Some people don't dwell like I do. They can ask for forgiveness and just be on their merry way. I have to have a sobbing, chest-heaving episode of contrition before I can get that crappy feeling out of my system. And it's usually to music. Steve camp, third day, phillips, craig and dean to name a few.
Have you ever seen a dog be surprised by its own farts? Hilarious. Why is it that whenever anything smells bad we always want someone else to smell it? Guilty. later melancholics